Dear Me

Hello everyone,

I have been meaning to write this down for a while now. But it feels so right to tell that scared, anxious, depressed person of 5 and 6 years ago, it’ll be okay.

 

Dear Marie,

 

The world has fallen to shit. No one can get away from that. You’ve gone from being the social butterfly at work, loved by colleagues, [mostly], customers and people you pass and encounter every day to being afraid of every person who comes near you. For months, you have been told to stay home, be safe, and the unknown of what this virus could potentially do is scary as. 

 

To go from a person with an active life, in spite of the barriers the world tends to throw in every disabled person’s way every day, to becoming a hermit, is going to wreck with anyone’s head. You were always susceptible  to dark places and anxiety has been a part of your world for most of your life, you don’t know this yet, but it’s true. It was sadly, inevitable that something was going to break. And sadly that was your mind.

 

The world moved on, everyone had got used to social distancing… but when you cannot see to social distance, you were sadly left behind. The attitudes of those opporrant  individuals who verbally abused you, physically grabbed you did not know how fragile your state of mind already was. Mentally, as a totally blind person, you are constantly assessing the risks, problem solving on a daily basis, accompanied with the threat of a killer virus, you had a lot going on.

 

Forgive yourself. Leaving a job that couldn’t support you and could not fit into your needs as a person anymore was not on you. You did the only thing you could to survive. It may feel like you’re starting all over again but that is okay, when the time comes, you will start to build your life up again. But for now, take care of you. If you need a day at home, away from the world, that is what you need. If you need a week to recover when you finally go out again, take it. Time is the greatest healer, always sounds like a cliche, right? It isn’t! It is true.

 

It might take you five or six years to start rebuilding but you will.

 

Take the medication. It’s a plaster cast to your fragile mind. You will probably need it for a long time but that’s okay too.

 

Bertie will retire. But you will keep going out with the cane. You will surprise yourself on the routes you want to do. Rediscover theatre. It will be part of your saving grace!

 

Allow friends in. Don’t push them out. They love you and will understand you need time. And if they don’t. They’re not worth sticking around. 

 

I want you to know, we will grieve  that party girl. But we will love her and cherish the memories she gave us. Even the throwing up in a grid in the Northern quarter. We will belly laugh at her antics. Her falling down laughing til she cries in the middle of canal street. We we will be proud of the achievements she got to with horse riding and although we’re not back there yet, we will get there. I promise. She was pretty awesome. But so are we? We survived the darkest time of our life. And you will. Despite the harmful thoughts, you won’t do it. Bertie’s need of you will stop you and thank goodness for that. We’re stronger than we think we are. We have value in the world. 

 

Sadly, we will put on weight. I know, ongoing battle of life. 

 

I guess the main thing I’m saying. Life will go on. Life will get brighter. The world is still full of shit, different kind but we now care more about our little circle than the crap happening out there.

 

Trams won’t terrify you forever. Those horrible people can be totally ignored nowadays. We go on the tram regularly. We’ve been on trains and buses all over the country now. We can do this. You will do it. And we’ll be proud of us.

 

You will get a third guide dog. He’s as cheeky and mischievous as you thought he would be. And it worked out. We’re 21 months into our partnership as I write.

 

You will love life again! yOu will laugh! You will cry! You will love! Except Mr Right, I’m starting to think he doesn’t exist now anyway. But you have your family and friends and they’ve grown over this past few years. Keep going girl! You got this!

 

Love,

 

Future Marie 

The Razor Ball, taking the stress Out of shaving

Hello Everyone,

 

Today I want to share with you all my experience with a new type of shaver.  

 

As adults, we are plagued with unwanted hair on our bodies that most of us want to eradicate. 

 

I’ve been using a variant of the Venus shaver for years. But as a blind person, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve missed a section or nicked my skin. Coupled with that I’ve usually had to throw the blades after around three uses. And they are super expensive.

 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I saw an advert on FaceBook for a new type of shaver called the “Razor Ball”. It claimed to give a smoother shave, limit the times you nick your skin and give you ultimate control over the shaving challenge. These blades boast they can cope with both body and facial shaving for a fraction of the price of mainstream blades out there.

 

I was intrigued enough to go and look on the detailed product description. Colour me surprised to learn they even boast this shaver would be great for low vision users. Now I had to try this.

 

Ordered one, with a nice cheeky %10 off and it arrived, in super cool packaging a few days later.

 

It is just like a small hard rubber ball that sits flat on its bottom, [no longer knocking shavers from their precarious spots on the bath or shower]. The blade magnetically attaches and hey presto, off you go.

 

I’ve used this about three times already, with shaving gel and I have to say, it delivers superbly. My legs are smoother than I could ever get them with a previous razor, and can even do the under arms with little problems. The fact you have two finger pads on the back of the razor body, just behind the blade and a metal pad under the lade so you can control the angle of the blade more accurately, makes this razor a keeper. And with the blades costing around £2 per blade if you order in bulk, [10 blades per time], it’s a winner for me.

 

Definite *55* 

 

Don’t take my word for it, get yours now!

 

 

Razor Ball Website 

Goodnight My Bertie Poppins

Hello everyone,

 

It has been a while. I will do an update of life and such soon but wanted to come here and pay tribute to the most wonderful Mr Bertie Pops, AKA Labborighini extraordinaire!

 

Exactly one month ago, we said goodnight to my precious boy. He had been deteriorating over the past six months. I had been away in Devon and mum reported he was whimpering a lot and taking ages to eat his food. His legs were going really bad and by the time I got home, he was taking half an hour to eat, barely able to stand and on the afternoon of Wednesday 25TH, we took him for a final walk around his park, he’d refused both drink and food, then when my sister arrived, we took him to the vets. 

 

Me and my sister went in with him. Mum chose to stay outside with Charlie. Bertie went to sleep with his beautiful little face in my hands. 

 

He was an incredible guide and I was so grateful to have had him in harness at my side for nine good years. He got three years retirement to just be a dog. I couldn’t have asked for more from him. 

 

From going to a job interview, starting work in a busy city centre, to moving out of my parents house, travelling all over the place for various things. He was just an incredible dog. Probably once in a life time type of dog.

 

His ability to unzip bags to get dog food out was renowned. His brilliance of hiding the chocolate box after he’d scoffed the last of my milk tray legendary. But his stead fastness to guide so beautifully and be an adorable boy who was loved by so many who did and didn’t know him was the pinnacle.

 

Thank you forever Bertie Pops, you were the fast little dude who didn’t like cuddles but would happily sit between my legs for hours. We miss you every day and so glad you’re reunited with that Bailey Bops. You can get in his bed with him again and annoy him like you used to.

 

Run free over Rainbow bridge and until we meet again, know I loved every bone, hair, [still finding them everywhere], and woof, you were the most amazing boy. Love you always…

 

One Whole Year Qualified

Hello Everyone,

 

If you had told me a year ago, I would be writing a qualification anniversary post for me and Charlie, I would have been super dubious. 

 

But here we are, a year on from our uncertain qualification and he’s transforming into a brilliant guide dog. 

 

This week has been another test of our partnership as I had to go into hospital for a planned surgery on Monday and mum and my sister were in charge of Charlie Bear. 

 

And then we had two days of no working as I needed to recover. He did brilliantly throughout and even when we went out yesterday and today, for shorter walks than we would normally do, he’s just got on with things. A very well deserved free run is on the cards for him tomorrow.

 

Thank you for growing into the Charlie Bear I see regularly now. You have always been so loving and sweet, and despite your love for your nose, you’re learning there are appropriate opportunities for sniffing. Good boy Charlie Bear.

 

Proud Guide Dog mama

 Hello everyone,

 

Settle in for a very big gushing, soppy post about the one and only Charlie Bear.

 

On Tuesday, will be exactly one year since we started training and oh, my goodness, what a difference a year makes.

 

Nothing I’m going to say in this post is meant negatively, it is purely put here for comparison to then and now.

 

I qualified with Charlie the week before bonfire night in the UK. And I had rehearsals to go to and so left Charlie with mum and Bertie. He cried for the majority of the time I was out. I found this stressful as I don’t like seeing any animal in distress. But one thing I’ve learnt is that Charlie likes to know what’s happening and who his people are. He didn’t know mum very well then, and since then he’s been left with theatre staff during my visits to the Palace and opera house. He’s learning I will come back for him. 

 

Yesterday would test so much of how he trusts me and the people in his life. I had tech rehearsals all afternoon and as he normally goes on a free run with my sister and me on Saturdays, we decided to make that the same routine. I left my house around 12:30, Cmum gave him his treat ball but recounts he only did a little cry once but settled nicely in his bed until my sister and niece arrived. He knew then he was going for his run.

 

He had a fabulous time and even did his usual running back and forwards between my sister and yesterday, my niece, without knocking her over, well done baby dog.

 

Then my sister fed him an hour before getting him into  the car to come to the theatre where she and my niece were to watch our show and see Charlie Bear’s stage debut.

 

Again, the work we have done with him this past few months, coming to rehearsals, learning to lie on his mat, whilst I get up and sing, and the past few weeks sitting with various members of our cast whilst I learn choreography absolutely paid off.

 

He was on the opposite side of the stage during our opening ensemble piece with one of our cast mates, I heard him cry a little but honestly, that was the only sound I heard from him all night.

 

He sat on his mat, being super good and if I was on stage without him, sat nicely with friends and then he came on for a stand and sing ensemble piece and had no hesitation, [he was with his people, so he was happy]!

 

During my solo, I took him on stage with me, and at the end of the song, I crouched down and he licked my face. This dog was meant to be on stage. 

 

Then after our final bows, he was brought to me by one of my friends as we were moving around a lot during the last song, and whilst our director was doing her thank you speech, he was literally rolling around on my lap with all four paws in the air. He was the cutest boy and not phased by the bright stage lights or the audience. 

 

He behaved beautifully for my mum and sister and niece, and then took being in a show all in his stride! To say I am proud of him is an understatement. We’ve all put work in with him. My sister and mum have been key helping with his recall on free runs and to see him run up to my nine year old niece and not knock her flying and gently take his sausage treats from her hand is a moment I feel needs celebrating. 

 

Out of all three of my dogs, I would say Bertie needed the least work, he knew his job and his need to please has always meant he’s been an easy dog in all ways. Bailey, my first dog needed a bit more work and looking back, I would say some of Bailey’s characteristics are similar to Charlie’s but both super guide dogs, just sometimes have their own agendas. This makes them very confident guide dogs and if they say, “this way, mum,”, I should really listen because they 99 percent of the time are right. Despite his golden child status, Bertie did not innately have that level of confidence and he learnt his strong decision skills over time. But one year on, and I’m pleased as punch with Charlie. He’s maturing and he trusts me. That is a huge win in my book. 

 

 

Well done Charlie Bear! I always knew you had potential, and now I’m starting to reek the rewards of all the hard work we have both put in and the support from friends and family has been incredible. And you had a good foundation with your puppy raiser because you know all of your commands, you just needed to trust your person to show you are capable of responding to them. Love you Charlie Bear 

Moulon rouge, The Musical: Review 2025

Hello everyone,

 

Last night I attended the Palace theatre in Manchester to watch the Moulin Rouge the musical. The palace has been in a black out this summer due to some maintenance so theatre has been a little short on the ground. 

 

Minds Eye Audio description were there to provide the audio description and the touch tour beforehand. 

 

It is such a slick operation at the Palace, from being welcomed in to the theatre, taken to the area where the touch tour takes place and them taking care of our guide Dogs. They also use mobile connect which is a useful app that enables you to use y our own device with earphones so you’re not sharing devices with strangers, [although they are thoroughly cleaned in between uses]]

 

As you can imagine, the touch tour was full of glitz and glamour. Sparkles and velvet and such beautiful materials were everywhere. This always gives those of us with little to no vision a good feel for how things look when on stage.

 

The show itself was full of popular songs and was more of a juke box musical than I expected it to be. But it was brilliantly done with some fabulous vocals and acting by the performers. 

 

The story begins with a troubled performance club who, despite having a “diamond” in their headliner Setine, they are heading for financial ruin. A self proclaimed Duke comes to the alleged rescue whilst a group of artists find another way to save the club and their own careers. This means a talented song writer meets the beautiful, sought after serine and all hell breaks lose.

 

A very talented cast with lots of singing, dancing and some very funny comedic moments.

 

As always, the audio description was incredibly delivered by Anne and I look forward to the next trip to the Palace.

 

Summer of Ill health

Hello everyone,

 

Back in May I attended an Ollie Murrs gig and ended up with Flu. My GP decided to change my inhaler as it seems they are moving some asthmatics onto a preventer/inhaler as opposed to two separate inhalers. Financially, this makes sense. As my Asthma is generally well controlled, it made sense to try this.

 

However, all summer I have felt lethargic and with very little energy to do more than the bare minimum. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I love to clean but even my house has suffered. 

 

I ended up with a nasty urinary tract infection at the end of July which I didn’t shake properly until the latter end of August, and then had an asthma review and told my nurse. I’ve wanted to get fitter, particularly as I have an ENT surgery looming and wanted to go under general anaesthetic as safely as someone my size can. So my plan this summer had been to get fit which has not happened. I’ve not even felt up to working the dog as he needs and sometimes that  has been heat but as I told my nurse, I was gagging when taking this inhaler and thankfully she did not dismiss it and had heard of other people having the same issue. She’s changed my inhaler and only nine days in and I already feel like I have way more energy. T

 

Today, I went for about a 3KM  walk with the baby dog in harness, walking an average of just under a KM every 15 minutes, [not my fastest but had to pause to wait for controlled crossings], then have come home and cleaned the kitchen, disinfected the yard, and vacuumed the entire house. I couldn’t have done that a few weeks ago.

 

Needless to say, I’m working out again, will be doing my dance work out shortly and trying to eat more responsibly. 

 

Fingers crossed for a healthier future. I need to get fit and lose weight. I’m tired of feeling so crap.

 

I’m currently researching smart body scan weighing scales as I need to track my physical health. Already tracking food with the Nutricheck app.

 

Visiting Sight Village Central 2025

At the beginning of July,  myself and a few friends descended on Birmingham to attend the annual Sight Village exhibition.

 

This is a central hub, hosted by the Queen Alexandra College where exhibitors from charities, technology companies and everything in between come together to show off their services or products aimed at blind and partially sighted people. 

 

The exhibition lasts two days and this year was held at the Eastern Rooms.

 

I last attended Sight Village Central in 2010 and so much has changed within the blindness sector, particularly from a technological point of view but some things remain unchanged.

 

I registered for my tickets for both days, which was very straight forward. I also registered my interest for several seminars held over the two days and this for me, was where the organisation felt slightly short. Once Ih ad ticked my preferred seminars and submitted, I heard nothing so when I arrived on Monday morning, I, like many others, did not know which seminars I could attend or indeed where or when they were being held. Despite this, I did manage to attend most of the ones I wanted to over the few days.

 

You also have access to a sighted guide who can help you get around the exhibit hall and to the seminars with ease. This has always been a super strong point and utilising young people from a nearby college seemed to work brilliantly. 

 

On the Monday I found a guide and headed into the exhibit hall and spoke to a few exhibitors before heading off to my first seminar. I have to say, I would like the seminar and list of exhibitors in advance, maybe with the tickets just so I have access to the information. As a side note, I have just seen I could have downloaded the docs pertaining to these exact things on the website but I had not scrolled that far down so maybe having a note in the ticket email to say you could download those things would have been hugely helpful.

 

The seminars I attended on Monday were:

Seeable holidays, National Rail, WiWalk and Getting tactile with Braille.

 

They all offered a great insight to each service or product and I felt these were well put together by the individual exhibitors.

 

After lunch, we ended up chatting to a few friends which is one of the plus sides in this particular venue as there are a lot of seating areas spread around which enable people to sit and chat if they wish. 

 

Day two, I spent more time in the exhibit hall and visited most of the technology stands I wanted to. 

 

In future posts, I will highlight exhibitors I found of interest but just wanted to give a little overview of the experience.

 

Having the young volunteers, particularly when they are engaged with you or the things you are visiting is really helpful. I found my day two volunteer is helpful and he was even asking questions. There was a few things organisationally which could have been done better, and I felt check in was a little chaotic. Also, not even sight village staff seemed to have a clue where we could take the dogs for a toilet and was down to someone else within our group who knew where they had taken their dog previously. 

 

I enjoyed it overall and I probably will visit next year.

 

Efficient Productivity on The Mac

Hello everyone,

 

I haven’t written a technology related post in a while. But something I’ve been doing this week has prompted me to pick up the Mac and share with you my findings.

 

When MacOS sequoia was released in September last year, one of the features I was super excited about was iPhone mirroring.

 

This feature meant your Mac  could take over your iPhone, using the touch pad or the mouse to interact with your iPhone’s screen… as though your Mac was your iPhone, being capable of using apps.

 

I tend to beta test my Mac and iPad and was sad to discover that the interface was not accessible. VoiceOver, [the screen reader I

use on my apple products could see the home and app switcher buttons but the interface where your icons on your home screen should be appeared blank. Of course, I gave Apple developers the feedback but did not expect the solution very quickly.

 

To my surprise this week, when putting together a newsletter for a charity I volunteer with, I decided to open iPhone mirroring and to my absolute shock I could see my iPhone in its entirety. 

 

For me, this means, I can copy what I need to from my Facebook app when copying over information without picking up my iPhone. It feels so natural and actually copies all of the information I need, like links so I don’t have to go and find the links in their original format as I do on the iPhone. To say I am pleased would be an understatement.

 

To use this tool, all you need to do is go to your apps folder, [providing you are up to date with OS software], locate iPhone mirroring, it will ask to use Touch ID or for you to enter your mac’s password and there you go, access to your iPhone. You do need to have a Mac running on Apple silicon, I.e. the M1+ chip, or a Mac with the touch 2 protocol, signed into the same apple account and up to date software on both devices. 

 

The only thing I have found, is it doesn’t like to open folders on the doc on my phone but generally I can use app switcher to find the app if it’s in the doc. I will feedback about that latter issue.

 

But on the whole, it is making my productivity very efficient.

 

Reaping The Rewards

Hello everyone,

 

I hope you are all well? 

 

I just have to recognise that it feels, dare I say, like I’m finally getting somewhere and really seeing the guide dog Charlie is growing into.

 

Last week, my vision rehabilitation specialist came out to show us the route to the gym. I kind of knew it, I had learnt it with trusty old Bertie but there has been a housing development since and wanted some tips and tricks to find the door at the gym which you have to cross a car park to get to. 

 

I was pretty nervous as this is the first new route I’ve done with him in a long while. And the first route since he’s properly settled in. But I needn’t have worried… He absolutely smashed it. He even remembered where the turn off for the gym was better than I did. I tried to keep going up the road, even though he’d tried to tell me it was left but I decided to trust my dog, and he got very waggly and pranced all the way to the door. He made the return journey without hiccough to and I am so blown away with his ability to just do this guiding thing now, it makes all of those stressful walks where he would sniff every obstacle or try and eat all of the bread near Asda worth it because I have a very confident and capable guide dog.

 

We are also in the middle of food changing as he’s lost a bit of weight and he’s pooing three times a day, with relatively soft poos and scattered all over the place every day. So we’re transitioning him to James well beloved Lamb and Rice light to see if that suits him any better. I have fingers, toes and everything crossed because poo gate has gone on long enough.